On the last episode of Legends of Tomorrow, we were with the Evil/Robo Legends! What happened when we caught up with OUR Legends?!? Let's find out!!!
The Lowest Common Denominator
In case you forgot: last "regular" episode, the Legends escaped the Robo Legends- but only with Bishop's sacrifice. Bishop is now dead, which is either :) or :( depending on who you are! Me? I was surprisingly a bit sad.
The team is back in Constantine's mansion, or rather the pocket dimension, somehow. How did they get here by time-traveling?
Well, either way, doesn't matter, because the mansion opens up to Hell now instead of Earth! Woo woo! The worse news, though? Gideon is feeling ill and it's not safe to time travel again, since they can't time travel without her and the device Bishop made.
According to Sara, since they landed outside the timeline, Evil Gideon can't find them, which means they can rest, regroup, and replan! Ava rushes off to create a murder board ASAP, while the others begrudgingly get ready for the plan, and Gwyn decides to be alone and hear noises and open up the doors to hell??? Gwyn, I know you're struggling buddy, but dammit keep the doors to hell closed!
Ava has officially completed her murder board and it is... something!
The team meets up to discuss a plan and, well, Gideon isn't there. So Gary goes to her and Gideon shares how awful she feels about not bringing them back to 2022. Honestly, Gary drives me insane, but it's endearing seeing how understanding and kind he is to her here. Ugh, maybe I HAVE to accept that Gary could be good for her. ugh.
Something Isn't Right...
This is also the first scene where you might notice the camera work is different. It's shot almost like a... reality show?? What?? What's going on?
Gary and Gideon run upstairs to fool around and Behrad confesses to Nate and Zari Tarazi that he wants to ask Astra out. Woooo! He's got this! Go Lil' B!
Nate and Zari Tarazi have a nice little convo where they talk about how they are basically best friends. Everything is going so well!! Almost... too well??
If that's what you're thinking, you are correct and you are thinking just like Astra and Spooner are! They find Gwyn on the floor with the doors to hell still open and Astra shoves them shut. Gwyn is freaking out about Hell and rightfully so because something got in!
The team has NO idea what's in the house and needs to find out! So what do they do? They split up like the Scooby Gang! Split up and look for clues kids!
Nate and Zari Tarazi are the first we see exploring the house. They see a few weird things, including some weird goo/blood or something. It falls onto them and they both immediately take their shirts off to avoid the goo.
After an awkward look, they look for other shirts to wear. NATE CALM DOWN
Ava and Sara stick together, of course, and roam around the main floor of the house. They hear something upstairs and believe they MUST investigate it! Y'all remember what's happening up there, right??
Behrad and Astra catch up to each other and let's just say the tension between them is PALPABLE. I may not be a big shipper of them but even I'm shouting "KISS KISS KISS" at this point!
Sara and Ava get upstairs and slowly, step by step, make their way to the source of the noise they heard, as Nate and Zari Tarazi get a little TOOO close to each other in the other room. Oh god, please no PLEASEEE NO
Thank god somehow has a brain cell! Just before Nate kisses her, Zari Tarazi stops him and declares "I think we are being manipulated". Ding ding we have a winner!
Sara and Ava bust a door open and, GASP, IT'S GARY AND GIDEON IN BED TOGETHER! THE HORROR!
Everyone hears Sara and Ava's screams (not in the fun way, dammit :/) and they all come running in. Along with more confusion and disgust, Astra specifically immediately threatens Gary- if it wasn't consensual, she'll rip him apart! Lucky for Gary, Gideon immediately states it was consensual and actually her coming onto him.
As they all hash out the when-where-how's of it all, Ava and Sara both declare this must be why Gideon has been so distracted. They immediately blame Gideon and Gary's relationship for their problems right now and Astra connects the dots. Who got in? Well... The Cursed Crew! And guess what? They are on a reality show from Hell!
Bringing the Reality to Hell!
This crew is from the '90s. Back then, they were so desperate for success that they sold their souls to a demon named Harris Leeds. The deal states that they will not be free unless they capture something authentic, something real. The other problem? Harris' powers allow the crew to amplify anyone and everyone's emotions in order to create conflict. You know what that means, right?? LEGENDS CHAOS!
Astra goes down to hell to talk to Harris Leeds while the rest of The Legends stay in the pocket dimension. Their only task? DON'T GIVE IN TO THEIR EMOTIONS AND STAY CHILL.
(and what will The Legends do? The exact opposite, of course! Give into their emotions and lose their sh*t!)
Behrad, in particular, is NOT thrilled about being on a reality show in Hell, especially since he was re-cast in his own family's reality show by Zari Tarazi. OUCH!
Gwyn inquires with Spooner about what "reality tv" is and Spooner assures him that he should stick with her- she's seen all of Survivor! Which gets her thinking... let's form an ALLIANCE! Spooner's competitive streak is ridiculous and I love it, but Gwyn and his religious grief and shame don't apparently.
Meanwhile, Ava and Sara are still trying to come up with a plan- or are they? Ava is, but Sara seems a little... distracted. First, a glass of champagne/wine pops up for her, then random earrings, and finally... she's figured it out! They have to go on VACATION! That'll solve everything!
Ava is NOT having it and the other Legends start to break down too. Remember how Nate and Zari Tarazi were BFFs earlier? Well, after that almost-kiss, not so much now!
As they begin to agree that they will stay friends and never sleep together, Nate takes it too far and starts.... insulting Zari Tarazi, almost. He's kinda "ew" about sleeping with her. Well, Zari may not wanna sleep with him, but she can't REPULSE him! That's TOO FAR!
Zari takes it another step too far by insinuating that she is better than Zari Tomaz! How dare she! It's on now!
And Gwyn is ALL OVER trying to get his way because he takes advantage of Sara being in VACAY mode and gets her to agree to let him save 1 life on the timeline. But who??? Oh lord....
Did I say oh lord?? Well I said it too early because, oh lord, Spooner is running around COMPLETELY NAKED A;LSJDF;KALJFDL
Poor Gwyn lmaoooooooo he is NOT okay with seeing Spooner like that!
A Deal Broken By Love
As everyone does exactly what Astra told them NOT to do, Astra herself finally meets up with demon jerk dude.
Astra still has a beautifully terrifying hold on the creatures of Hell and it is MAGNIFICENT! She barges into Harris' office and demands he back off- those are her souls to torture! And just as she's fixed the entire problem.... Puppy Behrad is brought in by other demons. Dammit Behrad! She had it handled!
Harris realizes Astra isn't actually a part of Hell anymore and, well, Harris takes advantage of that. He tries to see Behrad's "bad side" and, well, can't? Baby B! We love! But just as I go AWWW, Harris sends Astra and Behrad back to the pocket dimension. And it all comes out. How Behrad thought Astra might slip back into her old ways. How much that hurts her that he'd think that.
Hell Is What You Make It
As they begin to break down, we jump back to Gideon and Gary, STILL in bed together. Dear god, this is NOT the in-bed image I wanted to screenshot!
Gideon feels really insecure now about her relationship with Gary and how it might be a distraction, and it only seems to solidify for her when Gary confesses his love for her. Also, they didn't forget Gary's third nipple and I had almost forgotten it gosh dang it!
Gideon walks off on her own and Harris takes immediate advantage of it, talking her into being emotionless, goal-driven, and as robotic as possible. She just wants to turn off her emotions and he's here to help! Starting with a new look and a fresh dumping!
Zari Tarazi and Nate are STILL arguing and Gideon is NOT helping- she only further instigates their problems. Now Zari Tarazi believes that Nate doesn't want to move into the totem with Zari Tomaz! Furthermore, Nate now believes that Zari Tarazi thinks that Zari Tomaz is ugly. GASP! Classic reality show stupidity!
Who else can Gideon mess with? Gwyn, of course! Now, not only is he worried about saving Allan, but now he is worried about the entire WWI! Now Gwyn wants to save ALL of the people that die in that war! So much so that he tries to pray, but the crew of Hell is not having it!
Meanwhile, Astra is still trying to figure out why Behrad is worried about her not dealing with her trauma- especially when HE won't deal with HIS! He isn't just chill all the time! There's no way! Astra is NOT having it and leaves the room they are in.
Gary is the ONLY ONE seeing everything Gideon is doing and tries to tell Nate, but Nate is not open to listening. Not with his ridiculous mafia accent and non-stop "gains" workout.
Gary tries to find someone who is more "level-headed", but is disappointed when he sees that Spooner is just as gone. She's too busy trying to "win" this not real reality show.
Zari Tarazi is halfway to having a level head, though- she goes to Sara to warn her about Nate not wanting to move in with Zari Tomaz (which isn't a thing but it's fine) and Sara claims she has the perfect plan to defeat Evil Gideon!! Woo hoo!! Finally!!! What is it, Cap?
...Ma'am? Ma'am? THIS IS A WENDYS. Lmao. Y'all, Caity Lotz plays the dumb reality girl wayyyy too well. It's great.
You know who isn't pleased, though? Ava! Of course, she wants a trip, but, according to her, they can't just "go to the beach every time life gets hard". I lost it here because immediately after Ava said that, she realized something
There are SO many great one-liners in this episode!!
Ava bangs on a pot in the kitchen to let the entire house know it's DINNER TIME! "Wash your hands, it's time for dinner!" Damn, she really is such a time mom this ep.
The quick check-ins we get with each Legend before dinner are hysterical and you've gotta watch the episode to believe them!
Everyone except Behrad comes to eat dinner and Astra can already see it- everyone has lost. it!
COMPLETE CHAOS ENSUES!
This dinner is about to get FEISTY! My favorite scene of the episode is coming!
Once they are all seated, Gwyn leads them in a dinner prayer, and it's PERFECT because every time he says holy words like "holy" "lord" "god" the Hell Crew censors him. PURE. COMEDY!
Zari Tarazi gives a toast right after and thanks Ava for the meal, to which Ava looks immediately relieved and warmed to hear. And what about her other half? What state is Sara in?
She is in FULL reality queen glam mode and I am SCREAMING! I've always loved the little moments in past episodes where we get to see the "gossip side", as I call it, of Sara come out, but this is an entirely new level!
Gwyn interrupts Zari Tarazi and brings up Sara's promise to him- to save one person. Sara tries to get him to stop because she knows Ava does NOT look happy about this, but Ava's not lost it- not yet. And Gwyn isn't stopping. Not until he announces that he wants to save the Archduke Franz Ferdinand. HE WANTS TO PREVENT WW1!
YALL YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS SCENE BECAUSE NO DESCRIPTION COULD EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW FRICKIN HYSTERICAL AND PERFECT THIS IS! This might be one of my favorite Sara Lance moments ever, and that is saying a SH*T TON!
Please watch the episode but also please watch the moment with some added wonders to it by @teddyisgae on Twitter, you WILL NOT regret it!
To understate it, Sara is NOT happy with Gwyn here and, immediately after chewing Gwyn out, tries to reassure Ava that she would neverrrrrr do that and that Gwyn must be lying. But guess what? You guessed it, Ava has HAD it, and she has LOST it! She is NOT the den mom!
For that final touch, she yells at Spooner to PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! Y'all have done it! You pissed off Mom! And the funniest part? You'd think this might shock Sara out of her glam phase, but nope, she is still in it and now she's crying over how upset Ava is lol
The knives are not only out but they are diggin in now and Harris is loving it, especially now that he's got Gideon to incite even MORE chaos out of the other Legends. She calmly comes up to Spooner and asks which alliance she's joined: Nate or Zari's? And Zari Tarazi LOSES it. How DARE he make an alliance AGAINST her?
Zari Tarazi calls Zari Tomaz out of the totem to "settle it"
Zari Tarazi and Nate will not stop yelling at each other for one second as Zari Tomaz realizes they are all in Hell. You know what that means?
Not even Zari Tomaz can resist the urges of Hell! And now, here comes my other favorite scene of the episode, where Spooner is STILL running around naked, Gwyn is praying to himself, Sara is crying to Ava and trying to apologize and whining about how she needs a break, and Ava is doing everything possible to NOT pull her own hair out. INSANITY!
Finally, the second to last penny drops and Astra loses it herself. She tells Gideon to put on the time-traveling device and they'll just figure it out, but Gary still knows something is wrong with Gideon. He grabs the time-traveling device and, just as Ava begs him to NOT eat it, runs away from The Legends.
Yup, you read that right. Gary might EAT this thing.
Gary eats the time-traveling device but the rest of the team won't have it! A chasing montage ensues and it's HILARIOUS! I have no idea how they film this show and don't just laugh through all of filming! and while everything gets crazier, we see Behrad still hiding in a room alone. Harris the Demon tries to convince Behrad to just chill out, give in to his distractions, and eat some weed gummies, but Behrad finally says enough is enough. He's GOT to deal with his own problems and trauma.
The FINAL penny drops and Behrad yells it all out. How traumatized he was by having cameras around him all the time as a kid, specifically when he was emotionally upset. How he decided that the only way to keep the cameras away was to be barely emotional- chill, all. the. time. He admits things get to him, that he's tired of numbing himself, and that he's afraid of being honest with people for fear they may not like him.
With Behrad's honest and real confession complete, The Cursed Crew has captured something real! They are free! Reality Hell show over!
The entire team comes to their senses, in particular Gideon, who is back to herself! And yes, she and Gary are still together.
We get a small Avalance crumb here when Sara goes to apologize to Ava.
Gwyn interrupts and apologizes himself and Sara reaffirms her promise to save Allan.
Zari Tomaz makes Nate and Zari Tarazi apologize to each other right as she goes back into the totem and Astra goes to chat with Behrad. They have a nice moment, but Behrad tells her he needs time to figure himself out before he can be the best boyfriend she's ever had. And MY OH MY is Astra smitten! She deserves the best!
And Spooner is still naked and far too comfortable with it. Spooner put clothes on for the house meeting!
Gary and Gideon have everyone sit down and apologize to them for shaming them for their relationship. As much as I'm not into Gary/Gideon, Gideon makes a great point... everyone else has found love in the craziest of moments. Why can't they?
Now that everyone is happy again, it's time to figure out what's happening next episode- where shall the plot actually go? Well according to Gideon, they are going to...
SAVE ARCHDUKE FRANZ FERDINAND?!?! WHAT!?!? GIDEON WE CAN'T CHANGE THE TIMELINE LIKE THAT!!