What If… Starring Rogue, Featuring Nightcrawler
Thanks so much to my good friend Steven Hayner for sending me this book! I can’t believe I’ve never heard of it! An AU with Mystique, Destiny, Rogue, and Nightcrawler as a FAMILY?!?! How did I miss this??? Well, let’s see if this is as much of a gem as I hope it is! I've written my direct reactions to the comic below as I read it- hopefully, it's as fun for you to read as it was for me to write it!
P.S. - Again, all of this I wrote AS I read the comic! No major editing or thoughts were added- all that you read is exactly how I reacted while reading the comic in the moment, so beware! I’m quite the fangirl!
Mystique wow you still look so g-
DESTINY IS DEAD?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? MY HEART HURTS AND ITS THE FIRST ACTUAL SENTENCE IN THIS COMIC?!?! OW OW OW CAN I HANDLE THIS??
Okay, okay, deep breaths me…. Because OH MY GOD THEY RAISED THE CHILDREN! TOGETHER! FAMILY! GAY! WIVES! BABIES! YES THE DARKHOLME FAMILY!! I HAVE to see how it went! .. other than Destiny d-wording okay I’m not ready to talk about that yet D:
I know everyone has their own thoughts on Mystique and how motherly she “actually” is to Rogue, but honestly? I truly believe she sees Rogue as her daughter. Mystique is definitely no perfect mother, but she DOES love her child. Definitely doesn’t justify all her actions… but she loves Rogue. She does want her to be okay. She does want to help. So when Mystique says “You’re just a little girl… one in desperate need of a hug”- I believe her. Wholeheartedly. I see no alternate intentions and I’ll die on this hill.
“Irene Adler. She is my closest friend” “closest friend”
I think you mean YOUR WIFE
AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES YOUR HONOR
IDK how old Mystique is, but let's be real, she loves older women,
and she’s not wrong for it
Ah, so Rogue is the golden child while they hide Kurt away, ashamed of him? BOO! Love both my babies!! Pls!!! Let them both shine Mystique and Irene!
MY FEELINGS?? MAAM? Did Mystique really just say “Because of her (Rogue’s) power, she can’t touch anyone… and because of my power… because I have assumed so many roles, so many identities… I suppose no one can truly touch me, either”
AND THEN DESTINY WALKS UP BEHIND HER RIGHT AFTER SHE SAYS THAT??!?
GAY GAY GAY MYSTIQUE LET YOUR WIFE TOUCH YOU!!!!
Also, wow this horror-esque art is perfect, have I said that yet?
… who the hell is Michael? Is that what they call Kurt here? I will throw hands
Mystique, Irene just wants to help you, let Destiny help youuuuu
(is it bad through all this emotional upheaval Mystique is going through, I still want her to smash me? Yeah? Okay, I have a problem oops)
UGH THEY ARE CALLING KURT MICHAEL WHY WHY WHY EWWW EWWWW THATS SO WEIRD CAUSE ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS NAMED MICHAEL
NOT THAT I WOULDNT WANT KURT TO BE MY BEST FRIEND
AND IT'S WRONG
HIS NAME IS KURT DAMMIT AND HOW DARE THEY HIDE HIM
Thank god SOMEONE cares about Kurt! (I won’t be calling him Michael, folks)
Rogue, bby, please get yourself and Kurt out of there, cause unfortunately, Mystique is not being as loving as she needs to be to y’all. ugh . da*mit, Mystique! I need you to be a MILF AND a good mother!!
YESSS MYSTIQUE LETTING THE KIDS GROW UP TOGETHER! HER IN A SUIT??!?!? MY RIGHTS!!
...even though they are dysfunctional as hell
Man, I do get Mystique’s worries here though- she is worried Rogue will reject Kurt as her own family. Obviously, Rogue wouldn’t do that, but Mystique still worries for Kurt’s feelings- which is a good thing. It means she DOES care about them. Not the best actions to match her feelings, but at least her feelings are there? (Not pictured: Mystique's feelings, aka inner dialogue. It's in the issue though!)
..ignoring the fact this looks like a whole-as* titanic scene, poor Kurt just wants to be loved and accepted. Interesting how they still find a way, even in an AU, to link Kurt and his backstory to religion somehow. The reference to Kurt’s actual backstory is a big OW to my chest! I WASN’T READY!
..okay, I have to address it- Marvel, don't put Kurt and Rogue in a romantic viewpoint together ever AGAIN,
Bless Rogue for standing up for Kurt, even to her own mother figure! Gah man. Every time we get one step forward with Mystique and real feelings, we get three steps back. God. Mystique, dammit woman NO! We don’t kill the baby!! Rogue, go HAM being mad at her!
Rogue going full Gryffindor and Kurt
being the great Hufflepuff he is to get
them both out since she’s been such a
great friend to him and well, he has the
..Pyro, you're on my sh*t list.
NO NO NO OH MY HEART
“Your two families have finally MET. You must accept the consequences of your actions”
God this HURTS.
She knew and she still did it and now.. My babies are dying. My boi is dying!! KURT!!!!
STOP BEING SELF-SACRIFICING DANGIT AND TELEPORT YOU BOTH OUT OF THE FIRE!!!
WHA? Rogue took so much of Kurt’s lifeforce that she took on part of his look, I guess? Woah….
THEY KILLED MY BOI!
WHY DID YOU IGNORE DESTINY???
Your wife is always right….
All I know is pain.
The best word to describe Mystique is this: self-destruction. She is always her own worst enemy, but knowing this doesn't make it any easier to see again.
I both want to hug Mystique and punch her in the face.
What about y’all? How do you feel after this rollercoaster of emotion with the Darkholme Family? Do you agree with Destiny, that Mystique should’ve chosen one over the other: her family over the Brotherhood family? I know I do!!!
I need a nap from this, but I gotta say, despite how dark and sad this was- and the fact they d-worded my boi- this was fantastic. I would LOVE more Darkholme family AU’s and stories. PLEASE.
If you have no idea what the hell just happened, go pick up this back issue at your LCS or get it from a solid seller off Ebay or Instagram! It's worth it, trust me!
Thanks again Steven for sending this to me- it’s easily a personal gem of mine now :)
Your Friendly Neighborhood Bi gives this:
5 out of 5 (crying) Finger Guns
(because I'm bi)
You can find Your Friendly Neighborhood Bi, Lauren, on Twitter: